So today I am unfortunately writing from a place of frustration.
Not one to dwell on this I try and think of as many positive elements in my life as possible. One of these positive points is that it has given me my idea for today’s blog plus it is a prime example of how life isn’t perfect all the time.
Perfection is unachievable. It doesn’t matter how much we try we will never be able to attain it. However, perhaps a more pressing question is do we really want to? Life would be fantastic all the time but we would never have the opportunity to grow and learn from our mistakes. In fact I’m not sure if I like the word ‘mistake’, in my book I view them as learning curves. How then can they be mistakes if they become valuable opportunities for learning, as those situations are when our self-development occurs?
However, positivity rather than perfection is far more realistic. It’s one of those silent fundamentals. For example, if I equate it to a theatre production, positivity remains behind the scenes. It has an essential contribution to the show and let’s say it represents the lighting department. So even without lighting, technically the show could still go ahead but it would take place in the dark. Similarly, life can still continue but it’s missing the component to really bring it to life and enhance it. Another show necessity is a blackout to allow scene changes to take place. During those changes the stage crew need to find their way to ensure the staging is put in the correct place to create the appropriate environment to make sense of the next scene. The blackout represents those occasions when a lack of positivity is necessary and the stage crew are the equivalent to utilizing your abilities to find a way to maintain it. Hopefully that makes sense!
There is also a degree of acceptance required. It is easy to dwell and lose yourself in sadness and depression which can last days, weeks, months. Although there may be deeper issues causing a need for assistance with this, I am referring not to those but to the lighter every day dilemmas. One of the things that I find helpful is to allow myself a day or two, depending on the origin of the problem, to just think about it and at times let it consume me if need be. After that time frame is up, I let it go and move forward. That way I’m not being too hard on myself, I’m allowing myself to process emotions, be miserable, cry (which is actually very healing in respect of dealing with problems) and think about it whatever it may be.
To attain constant positivity is a life-long undertaking. When the goings good it’s great! You think you’ve conquered it and have it down to a fine art. It’s when things aren’t going so well that the test to obtain and maintain it is presented to us. That’s when it’s most important to try and keep a hold of it because that’s what will see us through. A silver lining is spoken of to every grey cloud and it’s over many years that I have fallen down, picked myself up and carried on to learn this. I am able to take a step back and look at a situation objectively (to a degree, it’s still not easy!!) and try to find the lesson or ‘silver lining’ in the situation. A wonderful and appropriate Jewish quote that I discovered many years ago is;
‘I walk, I fall down, I get up. Meanwhile I keep dancing.’
– Rabbi Hillel
One of the other outlets I use to channel negative emotions is to write. How and what you write is of no significance. Whatever comes into your head write it down and let it out. I often found if I was frustrated with someone it would be in the form of a letter which I never sent, if not I would just write it all down and then take the piece of paper outside to burn it. By burning it, you release all of the negative energy which has been extracted and is now contained in that piece of paper.
This is a very therapeutic method particularly for those with seizures/epilepsy who don’t have control over it. Having an outlet like writing can be very cathartic. Being able to let feelings out is essential so it doesn’t manifest itself into an increased form of ill health.
So having forced myself out of my apartment and found a café to sit down and have my rooibos tea in, from the mood I was in when I began writing to the mood I am in now, it will prove to be a very enjoyable evening!