The Possibility of a Liability

emotions

Emotions by Karina Llergo Salto

This weekend I did an unexpected test on seizures and epilepsy.  I write this being totally physically and emotionally exhausted.  The events that occurred were very helpful as it allowed me to see the effect of the new drug lamotrigine along with the additional hormonal impact even with the drug at a low dose.

As well as during the day, one of the more significant periods where the clusters of absences occur is in the morning.  Despite setting my alarm forty five minutes to an hour before I have to get up, the transition for my brain between sleep waking and beginning functioning is one which never seems to get easier.  The extra hour does make a slight difference; however, it doesn’t curb it completely so the seizures remain inevitable.

Friday saw an early night with no alcohol and nothing out of the ordinary in my routine.   I fell asleep, waking for the first time and immediately returned to sleep.  The second time I awoke was completely different. I had the strangest sensation of not knowing where I was which made me greatly confused and a little panicky.  I knew my partner was in the house so I got up in a bid to try and familiarize myself with my surroundings.  I wandered round in the dark and eventually worked out where I was and went back to bed after figuring hydration might help.  As I lay down the tremors began in my legs, my teeth were chattering and I couldn’t keep my body still.  I went to the bathroom to get my trusty Bach Flower Remedies (they work every time!) which always help in a situation of this kind but I was shaking so much I could barely get the box out of the cupboard let alone get the remedies out of their individual compartments!  Rescue Remedy, or the crisis mix as it’s also known is wonderful to take.  It is made up of five individual flowers essences: Cherry Plum for fear of the mind giving way, Star of Bethlehem for shock, Clematis for dreaming of the future without working in the present, Rock Rose for terror and fright and Impatiens for impatience.  Each essence, the five included, have a far more in depth definition but for now I will leave you with their overall description.

Once I began taking, it I slowly began to relax and the tremors stopped.  The night was a long one and with only two hours of sleep I did have the pleasure of seeing the sun rise whilst painting my nails as I watched it. (I figured I should be productive!)  As the morning went on, unsurprisingly I passed through it in a bit of a haze.  I had that typical feeling of being out of my body.  However, I only had a few seizures here and there which was a tremendous decrease compared to the normal amount I would have been experiencing.  After managing a delightful three and a half hour nap in the afternoon to recharge, I awoke with a headache.  Headaches normally are always accompanied with absences making it hard to focus. This time, it brought a couple more absences with it but again it was considerably less than normal.

Emotional situations and sleep deprivation are two of my seizure triggers.  That’s why I find the Bach Flower remedies very helpful to me particularly in situations which generate stress.  The Rescue Remedy calms my nervous system therefore having a positive, less pressurized effect on the neurons, allowing them to transmit the electrical signals in a normal capacity.

side effects

In this case, what was noticeable was the impact the new medication was having.  The fact that I had tried this drug a number of years ago and experienced negative side effects was disappointing as it specifically targets the treatment of absence seizures.  As one’s body changes over time with what it can and can’t tolerate in relation to foods, chemicals, allergies etc., the same applies to medication.  The side effects I experienced previously hadn’t returned as my body changed developing to a point where it can now accept and process the drug.  That’s why I realize now that even if a drug isn’t successful at one stage, it doesn’t mean further down the line one will have the same response.

I continue my journey of experimentation in the hope that as I increase the amount of medication my system remains happy without rejecting it.  My future looks hopeful with a large possibility of being seizure free and not wanting to get ahead of myself too much but maybe I could even learn to drive – watch out world!

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