As I sit down to write this blog, not only am I cutting it very fine time wise (I’m getting complacent now it’s a regular post!), but I can’t help but feel a little frustrated.
I love moving to new cities/countries and experiencing the culture, history, excitement and new life that is accompanied with it. Seattle certainly feels like home now, but I forgot about the more challenging elements which make their presence known. I don’t recall it being quite this tricky in previous years and as this is approximately my thirty fifth or six move and quite frankly, I should be a professional at this by now! I’m starting to wonder though whether as I’m getting older everything is working backwards and I am becoming a novice at this relocating lark!
Perhaps one of the hardest aspects of moving this time round is connecting with people. When I was in my early twenties with friends it was all about the quantity and not necessarily the quality. Now I’m in my thirties life is quite different. At times I find myself now using the ‘should’ and the ‘ought’ words when it comes to the idea of going out. Rather than dashing to my ever increasing wardrobe to have a fashion show of potential outfits and subjecting my various roommates to glimpses of a catwalk strut through the living room which resembled more of a penguin waddle than anything else, I find myself opting for my jogging bottoms (from my ever de-creasing wardrobe), a green tea and dare I say it, my embarrassingly guilty pleasure that is Wife Swap. (Yes I know, it’s dreadful and now it’s out of the vault, eek!)
It used to be all about the colour co-ordination, making sure I had ‘X’ amount of colours in my outfit to co-ordinate with the clothes, accessories and shoes which I loved to figure out, it was about suffering in order to scream ‘fashion icon’ (or at least so I thought!) to all the poor souls at my intended destination who had absolutely no idea of my mission. I’d be wearing the highest of heels, so high that at times an oxygen tank was required just to maintain breathing in the stratosphere where my head resided for the duration of the night. So yes, my pain threshold which has significantly increased over the years is now high but my fashion sense and the necessity to socialize have taken a bit of a nose dive! I could be perceived as grumpy, but I realize that with many people in my age bracket feeling the same, I know it’s not me, I’m just simply getting old…. Oh!
So with the delights of getting older, I’ve also become increasingly fussy about who I spend my time with. I strongly believe that with life being as short and precious as it is, time should be spent with those who you treasure and who treasure you otherwise it is as good as empty time. I used to carry around a memorable quote to remind me of this if I was feeling alone and wanted to give in to the temptation of spending time with people just for the sake of having company. I have not been able to find the exact quote but it went something along the lines of, ‘When we spend time with people who are not clear and honest, it is like we become covered with a veil of dust and dirt that we then carry and scatter into the households of our lives’. I like to think this represents the importance of spending time with people who have the qualities that both have in common and who’s company is enjoyed equally. Additionally, there’s the idea that ‘like attracts like’ therefore, you are attracting into your life the attributes that you’ve exuded into the ether in the first place. If you interact with people who don’t fulfill those fundamentals then absorbed are the traits which they possess that can generate frustration and negativity and as the quote states, you then carry that negativity into the other relationships.
Special friends are extremely hard and not always frequent to come by but when one is found, you know it instantly. I am lucky as I have been blessed to find a number of these special people in various places at often unexpected but perfectly timed periods throughout my life. Sometimes time passes and we find we haven’t seen each other for weeks, months or maybe even years but when reconnecting, it feels like no time has passed and we simply continue where we left off. That is when you know you have found the meaning of true friendship.